Shadow of the Curse of Hela Remastered Review - Should Die

Shadows of the Damned Hela Remastered Let's go back to the exciting days of 2011. The US military eliminated Osama bin Laden, the UK experienced its second hottest year on record, and we met legendary demon hunter Garcia Hotspur. Thirteen years later, we had the misfortune to meet him again, only this time, the whole thing looked a little better.

"Shadows of the Damned" is from the hands of "Resident Evil" creator Shinji Mikami and Killer7's Suda 51. It is a third-person shooting game in the Xbox 360/PS3 era with a strong horror tendency. It details Garcia and his demonic friend Johnson's journey through the underworld to rescue Hotspur's kidnapped love Paula. It's a lame road trip in which the saucy Garcia fights hordes of evil with "Big Dumber" on his back.

Garcia's chatty sidekick Johnson is a demonic skull who can seemingly transform into anything the plot demands at the time, though the rules for this are inconsistent at best. As you defeat each boss in the game, he gains a new weaponized form, and coupled with some basic upgrades from collecting gems, this is how Garcia gains power throughout his journey.

The bulk of Shadows of the Damned consists of shooting demons, blasting boss weak spots, and occasionally playing a basic puzzle or two. The gunplay is solid, the weapons have a decent kick, and enemies react appropriately to your hail of bullets. But unfortunately, every headshot was followed by another one of Garcia's quips.

Dark mechanics come into play early on, reducing saturation and changing threats in the world around you. In theory, this provides a two-sides-of-a-coin type of processing environment. Some things can only be done in the dark, and some things can only be done in the light.

In fact, the visual language of Shadows of the Damned's Hell is very monotonous to begin with, and it's fair to say that Shadow Realm doesn't have the impact it deserves. In some cases, my visual clarity improves when I'm engulfed in darkness - which I'm sure is not the intended result.

The designs of the monsters, including the bosses themselves, are downright terrifying. Combat, however, is little more than firing tons of bullets into range or looking for glowing weak points. The shadow mechanic occasionally comes into play here, but aside from the uphill battle of enduring Johnson's jokes, I didn't encounter much of a challenge.

Everything in Shadow of the Damned is a joke. Your starting weapon is a "Boner", your partner is called Johnson - even the checkpoint where your progress is saved is a creature called "One-Eyed Willie". To walk in Garcia's shoes is to step into the mind of a 14-year-old who has just read Constantine for the first time. I don't consider myself a prude, and if 99% of the jokes in your game are about penises, that's totally fine, just make them somewhat humorous. The quantity here dwarfs the quality and I was exhausted from start to finish.

For example, there is a particularly torturous part in the middle of the story. The demon-fighting duo find themselves in grave danger, and it seems Johnson's only way out is to call a sex hotline from a payphone. The apparent state of excitement allowed Johnson to lengthen the barrel of the "Boner" gun, turning it into a cannon. funny. It doesn't stop there either. Garcia yelled "Taste my big boner!" After every other shot, Johnson yelled "SCHAWING!" after hearing a rather tame pick-up call. It's only a small part of what you experience, and I'm sorry to say, it never relaxes and it never gets interesting.

Occasionally, you get a true storybook moment when Garcia and Johnson take time out from a rescue mission to flip through a comically large book that tells the harrowing story of one of the game's bosses. Not a bad idea, as it gives some context as to what is trapping these poor souls in hell. Sadly, our two heroes’ comments are rife with misogyny, fat-shaming and glorification of suicide.

I'm not sure who the Shadow of the Curse of Hela remake is for. Perhaps those who played and enjoyed the original might get a kick out of revisiting Underworld, but the visual upgrades are minimal. I can safely say that anyone who is not nostalgic for the original will get nothing out of this horror game.

The Shadow of the Curse of Hela remake is a lackluster shooting gallery with an insufferable cast. It didn't work in 2011 and it doesn't work now. Suda and Mikami's supreme blood couldn't stop it all from turning into chaos, and the orifice over Orpheus became more shocking as the years passed.